What is true love and how do you find it?

Apr 22, 2022 | Meditation, Relationships | 2 comments

Love, in its true sense, is the unending field that holds and nourishes all forms of life. Find it by letting go of seeking and learning it’s within you. Once you connect with this space, your mind becomes balanced and peaceful. The situations in your life also find solutions as you grow to accept change. In effect, your presence nourishes others and the world around you.


True love is the unending space that holds and nourishes all forms of life

Once you connect with true love, your mind becomes balanced and peaceful.


What’s love?


Love is the state of accepting and allowing everything to be. It doesn’t limit itself to a powerful emotion or state of affection. In its natural form, love doesn’t rest on anyone or anything. By realising this, your mind gains insight and breaks free from rigid beliefs. Once you align with the pure state of love, painful emotions, thoughts, and situations resolve. Life then eases as you accept and allow its open, wise, loving space.

In its purest form, love has no conditions and asks for nothing in return. To explain how it works, picture the sun. It shines without desire, effort, fight, judgement or will to change anything. As a human being, you share the same space and its qualities. Connect with this vastness and you find endless love. This field holds every form and object that exists. It also allows shifts to occur without hate, fear, or judgement. If you love something, would you force it to change? On balance, by accepting reality, you understand love. Your actions then become selfless as life’s wisdom works through you. This state is love in its purest form.

As part of life’s space, love doesn’t depend on any person, image, or object. In short, it’s a presence without form and time. This openness brings life to everything. Sense this truth and note how each person and lifeform connect. Here, you realise life’s oneness and stop viewing yourself as separate from anyone or anything. This insight ends rigid beliefs that create conflict and hate amongst humans. As more people align with such inner wholeness, the world shifts toward balance. In effect, humans no longer rest their hopes and dreams on another. Instead, they allow life to guide them toward accepting its wise space.


 Pure love shines in the same way as the sun's light and heat - without effort or condition.

Pure love shines in the same way as the sun’s light and heat – without effort or condition.

Does the pure form of love have any opposites?


The pure, balanced form of love is a state of oneness, with no opposites. Your mind finds such realisations hard to grasp, as it often clings to, or avoids various emotions. These contrasts create false ideas about love by limiting it to a human sensation. Grow wise to this error, and learn how such feelings can drive your actions without realising. This aware state leads to the balanced form of love that allows for healing and wisdom.

In its balanced form, love creates feelings of being whole and complete. This mode of living comes without effort. However, in an imbalanced state, the mind adds grief, struggle, hate, and fear to the high sensation of love. In effect, it creates low states, such as pain, resistance, and neediness. Witness this in relationships after the early courtship period. Once this stage ends, its joy and passion fade as you notice your partner’s deeper flaws. The mind often views this as a loss of love. It then becomes prone to emotional pain and careless actions to avert such loss. Note such feelings. By doing so, you grow aware of love in its balanced form.

The open space of pure love has no terms. When it becomes the driving force of your life, you become free from imbalance, fear, and grief. In this state, you leave behind false beliefs about life and relationships. Instead, you find an inner strength that the mind’s influence can’t touch. Here, you stand as a strong, independent person who’s wise to your feelings and those of others. As a result, you sense beauty in each contrast, including intense highs and lows in the body. By accepting these states, you allow the space of pure love to bring forth healing and wisdom.


When pure love becomes the driving force in your life, you sense beauty in every contrast.

When pure love becomes the driving force in your life, you sense beauty in every contrast.


Do you have to search for love?


You don’t need to search for love because you’re already part of its energy. This limitless expanse is the essence of who you are. In short, life is unconditional love and you connect with it by resting in its space. This relaxation calms the mind and allows you to make wise, aligned decisions. By learning this, you stop trying to search for love in any form.

As an emotion, love is an intense yet brief experience. Human beings often seek it from the following sources:

  • A partner or spouse.
  • Parents, friends and family.
  • A divine or religious image/person/being.
  • A career, hobby, or line of work.
  • Local groups or communities.
  • Approval or credit from others.
  • Rituals, meditations and practices.

These sources of emotional love are subject to change and don’t last forever. To explain this, take the case of intimate relationships with a partner or spouse. At first, your mind and body yearn for this person as they bring forth feelings of intense love. Here, your partner acts as a trigger to raise these emotions from within you. These provide a brief taste of your true self. Despite this, such feelings soon fade because of life’s changing nature. The mind then continues its search for lasting peace elsewhere. Note this cycle, as it can become a repetitive pattern. By letting go of seeking love, you realise that its unchanging force is within.

As your relationship with life strengthens, the mind’s thoughts grow wise. Here, you trust that life brings the right events to further your growth. These can include compatible careers, new partners and interests. Here, you embrace change and stop operating from fear. In essence, this loving state is your permanent, true self. You don’t have to seek or have someone give it to you in any form.


As your connection with life strengthens, the mind's thoughts grow wise. You don't have to search for this union. of love.

As your connection with life strengthens, the mind’s thoughts grow wise. You don’t have to search for this union.


What is self-love?


Self-love is an aligned state of inner peace and health. Here, you unite with life’s pure wisdom. This expanse is the source of everything – both inside and outside your mind. Align with this nurturing space and its love shines through you. From here, you exude peace, balance, joy, and creativity. Together, these traits attract mirroring people and events. Life then grows more aligned and enjoyable as self-love becomes your natural way of living.

You cannot force a state of self-love, talk yourself into it, or practice it as a method. Such actions stem from resisting a fearful frame of mind. To realise this, make a list of the ways you try to practice self-love. Next to each point, note the reasons you carry out such actions. Are you trying to offset or get rid of negative feelings or thoughts? If so, can you allow these to be instead of resisting their presence? By letting go into this space of total allowing, self-love blossoms without force or effort.

No person, possession, achievement or deed can bring permanent peace and joy. Such conditions are passing and unstable. Instead of searching for love outside, look within. Can you be still in silence for a short period without intent or motive? Let your regrets and fears arise. Here, the mind’s consciousness opens and you move toward allowing everything to be – without fighting or resisting change. By moving past the mind’s resistance to such stillness, its inner silence comes forth. In effect, you find permanent, independent peace and joy.

On balance, by being with yourself, you learn that self-love dwells within the body and mind. Its essence was always there and awaited you to shed the thoughts covering its presence. Once you grasp this truth, self-love, peace and health become natural ways of life.


The light of self-love dwells beneath your thoughts and emotions.

The light of self-love dwells beneath your thoughts and emotions.


Why do humans desire affection?


Humans desire affection because they have a natural longing for balance and wholeness. If this drive becomes imbalanced, it leads them to depend on another person or object. This sense of wanting or lack comes when the mind’s unstable thought structures rule its space. Learn how this works and you soon connect with life’s wholeness. Your mind’s thoughts and desires then align on all levels.

As social beings, humans sense an inborn desire to be close to others. This trait exists to drive people to build and form relationships. Since ancient times, these networks have raised the quality of human life and ensured our survival. For these reasons, the brain forms pleasant responses to relationships and feelings of love. These stem from strong neuro links that shape your thoughts. Witness them in your mind’s space. Do many thoughts share the theme of wanting closeness? Note how these arise from your brain’s programming. This knowledge prevents such inborn desires from ruling your actions and thoughts.

In an unwise state, love – as an emotion can lead to many personal problems. Despite this, you shouldn’t try to suppress, avoid, or deny it. Instead, accept feelings of love and allow them to be. From here, you flow with life’s changes. In this aware state, you have an inner clarity that prevents your mind from making unwise decisions.

By allowing the emotion of love to balance, your thoughts become clear. You then desire affection for the right reasons. These include inner growth, accepting new challenges and enjoying life more. It’s vital to realise that this process takes time. To confirm this, picture the gradual process of a flower blooming. In the same fashion, allow your mind ample time to settle, relax, and open at its own pace. Here, your thoughts align on all levels.


By allowing the emotion of love to balance, your thoughts become clear.

By allowing the emotion of love to balance, your thoughts become clear.


How does pure love feel?


Pure love feels like you’re close, yet detached from everything at the same time. At first glance, these qualities appear to oppose each other. Despite this view, with experience, you learn they are parts of the same wholeness. From here, you follow your passions while sensing the neutral space where they occur. By learning this, neediness and fear cannot hinder your life. Such freedom allows pure love to take place.

Throughout life, you form attachments, and in time, they will change or dissolve. Given these points, it’s vital to connect with the indifferent space within. You then move with life’s flow instead of fighting its changes. In this mindset, you don’t fear making connections or losing them. This fearless state also sets others free, as their inner peace no longer depends on you. Such poise flows through each aspect of your life. Here, you honour everything while accepting that nothing lasts forever. With this peace, you allow yourself to form attachments without fear. When the time is right, you part ways and embrace change without trouble.

Love – in its pure state, is free of pain, whereas infatuation has a possessive, closed, needy trait. Be aware of these states, as it’s easy to confuse them.

As you grow clear on what love points to, the mind’s mental pain and anguish reduce. Here, you become loving and intimate with life situations, yet indifferent to them. This state seems confusing, as your brain assumes that by not suffering or worrying; it doesn’t care. Note such thoughts as they give a false notion of love. Observe what triggers them and your reactions. This awareness soon clears the mind’s clouds of confusion, doubt, guilt, negativity, and fear. You then care about everything in a wise, balanced way. This pure, free state of love never lessens.





An insight into depression and how to dissolve it.

An insight into depression and how to dissolve it.


  1. John Shearer

    Great blog Subraj! Seek love within!

    • subraj

      Thankyou John! Love thrives within. By sensing it, love reflects itself back to you in every way. 🙂


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