You forgive others by noting their pain and understanding why they act. By doing this, you can then learn to witness any imbalances within your mind. This awareness allows vengeful and angry thoughts to pass. Once these contents release, you connect with your mind’s inner space and align with life’s growth. From here, forgiveness happens on its own and you don’t cling to any form of past pain.
What is forgiveness?
Forgiveness is a natural state of inner balance and freedom. It happens when you release imbalanced, dark, hateful thoughts towards yourself or someone who has hurt you. By growing aware of these contents, they cannot flood your mind’s space. Past pain then releases and forgiveness happens without effort or force.
You cannot practice forgiveness as a technique or way of thinking. Such plans aim to fight thoughts of malice by trying to forgive. To explain this, take an event where someone hurt or betrayed you. In response, you sense sadness, anger, and an urge to inflict pain or revenge. Thoughts of this nature disturb your brain and body. In effect, you try getting rid of them but create more conflict in your mind. Here, these types of thoughts arise.
- He/she hurt me in the past. It’s not possible to forgive them.
- I should forgive to be a decent person.
These examples use the idea of forgiveness to quash dark, hateful thoughts or find an escape from them. The logic is that if you pardon the wrong-doer, feelings of hatred and hurt dissolve. This notion is not true. When you try to practice forgiveness, you’re forcing the mind into something it doesn’t wish to do. In short, you cannot push yourself to forgive without causing more conflict. Such disputes arise because you create more resistance by trying to quash or escape the mind’s thoughts.
True forgiveness happens by allowing emotions in full. Instead of trying to forgive, or get rid of hateful thoughts, witness them arrive, speak, and leave in time. By connecting with life’s space this way, nothing clings to you anymore. This openness allows a release of the mind’s built-up, imbalanced energy. The forgiving space left behind heals mental pain and trauma without effort or forced practice.
How do you deal with pain caused by others?
If someone acted toward you in a way that causes pain, be compassionate. This response allows you to accept how imbalanced grief and suffering ruled over their actions. As a result, they couldn’t make wise, conscious choices. Observe how your mind reacts to the misdeeds of others. Here, it’s possible to allow your own imbalanced hate and grief to resolve. Such emotions then become tools to help you rectify yourself. Your mind then balances and ceases to pollute the world with further suffering.
People hurt others because they themselves carry large masses of painful thoughts. Once these flood a person’s inner space, they block life’s wisdom and attract deeper anguish. In short, pain feeds on more pain. For this reason, those who carry malice often receive and inflict it on others. In this unconscious state, hurtful thoughts gather in both parties and strengthen victim or offender stances. How do you view yourself? Perhaps you have suffered or caused abuse and grief. No matter what happened, you can now choose to grow conscious and allow painful thoughts to dissolve. This act removes the drive to hurt yourself or others.
If someone harms you, it’s normal to feel anger, hatred and non-forgiveness toward them. Rather than act on these emotions without thinking, ask yourself. Do anger and rage define you? Or are they passing thoughts in the mind’s space? Once you’re aware of emotions, it’s possible to respond to a hurtful event with wisdom and poise. Here, the mind doesn’t operate from imbalanced hurt, anger, or hatred. In effect, you no longer fuel the cycle of creating more harm. This open state is forgiveness.
Once you understand why imbalanced thoughts and actions occur, your response toward them becomes compassionate. Correct yourself this way, and you no longer pollute the world with suffering.
Does seeking revenge get rid of past pain?
The act of seeking revenge doesn’t get rid of past pain. Such efforts stem from trying to release the mind’s grief – through inflicting it on others. This results in further suffering and solves nothing. By understanding revenge, it’s possible to see how it drives hostile human actions. With this knowledge, you don’t fall for its influence and allow forgiveness to happen with ease.
Revenge is an act where you hurt someone in return for a misdeed they committed. It arises from the human instinct to protect themselves and those they care about. Has someone hurt you in the past? Would you like to give them a taste of how it feels? What will you achieve by doing this? Vengeance feels satisfying and powerful, but neither of these emotions last. The reason is that revenge only covers your mind’s built-up pain for brief periods. Release this burden by growing aware of vengeful thoughts in your space. You can then allow their energy and root emotions to pass. In effect, you cease to fuel further misdeeds.
Angry, vengeful thoughts are independent beings trying to survive by attracting conflict. Despite this, the pain they create soon forces you out of an unconscious state. To illustrate this, picture an angry fight between two people. When one person strikes, the other hits back harder in vengeance. Rounds like this continue as revenge creates more anger. At some point, suffering becomes so great that it acts as a wake-up call to grow aware. When this happens, the mind becomes conscious and its inner conflict dissolves by itself. As a result, imbalanced anger and revenge cannot survive and soon pass.
On balance, by turning attention inward, you find the root of revenge and past pain. With this knowledge, hostile thoughts leave and forgiveness happens without effort.
How do you let go of a victim mindset?
You let go of a victim mindset by noting the thinking patterns that cause this state. With this awareness, you can allow the energy of past pain to settle. In time, the mind grows more spacious and less affected by thoughts of victimisation. It’s then possible to think with clarity, accept uncertainty, and act with wisdom. Here, you no longer live as a victim and take responsibility for your life.
A victim mindset has its roots in past trauma, distress, and pain. Perhaps someone betrayed your trust, or put you through many difficult life events. Instances like this create a victim mindset that often forms a method of avoiding future challenges. In this situation, the mind sees itself as helpless, thus leading you to feel afraid and vulnerable. If these feelings gain power, it’s easy to assume that life is cruel and unfair. Such a state traps you in a negative loop within the mind and prevents wise action. To break free, learn to witness victim based thoughts and your response to them. Here are some examples.
- I feel down because of them/him/her. They should see me as the victim.
- I’m a good person and bad things shouldn’t happen to me.
- No one cares about me, and I deserve sympathy/special treatment.
In a state of low awareness, these thoughts shape your view of the world. Do you wish to change this mindset or stay as a victim? It’s true that you may receive attention by telling others your story several times. Such actions can also influence others to speak out. Despite these benefits, dwelling on victim thoughts strengthens them. As a result, you feel worse in the long term. Note these contents in your mind and allow them to dissolve. In doing so, you take responsibility for your life.
Why do good people appear to attract more pain?
Good people appear to attract more pain because their minds have an imbalance towards light nature. In short, this means they have little connection with inner power and suppress ‘negative’ thoughts. By growing wise to this, both light and dark aspects of the mind align. When this happens, you no longer attract excess pain or imbalance.
Light natured humans are often nice, kind, and eager to help others. These are good qualities, but too much light nature attracts pain and exploitation. Witness this in the animal kingdom where a hungry, fierce tiger pursues, kills, and eats the most vulnerable, meek deer. Similar dynamics also happen in humans that have yet to rise above their mind and body’s instincts.
Understand life as a neutral force that creates every light and dark role in nature. To explain this, take the example of a tiger hunting deer again. By nature, the deer is light, passive and built to elude danger. In contrast, the tiger is dangerous, strong and violent. Is it ‘bad’ for acting this way? Your mind may think so, but life creates the tiger and deer to express its nature. In the same way, it forms humans with different expressions. From life’s point of view, all forms are valuable. Some move toward balance and others don’t. Despite this, life remains neutral and doesn’t judge or condemn.
Adult human beings are unique, as they can nurture the power to be aware of thoughts. This trait sets them apart from any other being. Once you grow conscious of the mind, its light and dark tendencies align. This balance allows you to stay spacious, neutral and observant, thus preventing extremes in the mind. It’s then possible to act in a conscious manner – without judgement. Here, you no longer attract further pain or imbalance.
How do forgiveness and inner growth work together?
Forgiveness and inner growth work together by helping you realise life’s nature. This knowledge comes from going through a range of experiences and learning from them. By seeing how life creates growth this way, you accept challenges with poise and grace. In short, this acceptance is true forgiveness.
Life creates challenges to spur the development of wisdom, balance, and growth. Take the case of bullying. If this is happening, are you holding a meek, victim stance? These mindsets prevent wise action and attract further problems. Until you connect with the mind’s dark nature, bullying often persists. To make this change, realise your choice to grow and align with inner power. In brief, this means letting go of imbalanced meekness and acting on solutions. These range from reporting bullying, learning confidence, and staying clear of harmful scenes. Such actions stem from inner wisdom and help you grow as a person.
Many of the world’s most mature, balanced, noble people once endured immense trouble and sorrow. Their overall wisdom comes from going through trials and finding inner power. Given these points, it’s vital to meet life’s troubles without fighting them. By doing this, they lead you toward a balanced, mature, and noble mind.
In the event of a problem, it’s easy to think you’re helpless. Perhaps you can do little to change what’s happening. Explore how you react to such challenges. Do you often complain about problems, blame others, or feel self-pity? These powerless states of mind can keep you in a passive, timid state. Break free from this trap by growing more aware, facing life, allowing insights and acting on them. In doing so, the mind’s momentum fades and past pain releases. From here, you accept how problems help the mind learn and mature. This power comes from true forgiveness.